Frank lays on his bed for the 4th or 5th day since, as he says it, the worst day of his life. The day that he had a fight with his, in that days, boyfriend Gerard.
Gerard was holding his hand as they walked out of his bedroom but dropped it quickly as they were approaching the kitchen where his family was, hurting Frank more than he thought. Well, in fact, he didn't think it hurt him at all.
Frank looked at the floor as they walked in. Mikey, Mr and Mrs Way were sitting on the kitchen table, Mrs Way with a mug of coffee in front of her as she chatted happily with Mikey and her husband, while Mr Way was nodding and making sounds in agreement behind a newspaper. Gerard acted as if nothing and sat next to his dad. Frank looked up and noticed Mikey looking up at him with a sad expression. Frank gave him the best fake smile he could, but Mikey didn't buy it. Frank slid next to him and Mrs Way smiled warmly at him.
"Hi dear, how is everything going?" She asked. Frank thought twice about the answer before nodding shortly.
"Fine Mrs Way, everything is.. fine"
"Any guys into your life yet?" Actually, yes. In fact, is your oldest son, who is a lost case in the closet. Frank shook his head and smiled.
"No, no. I haven't found anyone yet." With that he shot a brief glance at Gerard, who had his head ducked down and looked slightly hurt. Well, technically we're not dating in front of your parents, now are we?. He thought. Mrs Way shook her head a bit and smiled.
"That's such a same. You're a great boy, I don't know how you haven't found anyone yet" She said looking at Gerard from the corner of her eye.
Mrs Way, a woman who knew more than his son would like her to, but kept her mouth shut. It was his son's job to tell her, and she was going to wait. Hell, she has been waiting for two years. She just wondered when was Gerard going to tell her. If he was going to tell her, of course.
"How could you say you don't have anyone in your life?" Gerard asked, with an annoyed tone as they walked in Gerard's room.
"Well, as far as I know we're not dating in front of your par- no, wait, in front of the world, are we?" Frank asked leaning on the already closed door, waiting for Gerard's answer. It didn't come, so he continued. "You see? I can't tell them anything! What if they ask me? What should I say then?"
"You could always come up with a name! It isn't something hard to do" Frank shook his head, getting more annoyed every second.
"No, no, no! You just don't understand! Your mother would ask me for photos or how I met him or things like that, you know how is your mom, and maybe say something like 'why haven't I see you with him'? And then what should I tell her? 'Oh no sorry it's just he's not real that's why you can't see me with him'?" Gerard glared at Frank but he just raised his eyebrows. Gerard knew Frank was right. Frank knew that Gerard knew that Frank was right. "Can't you understand that everything would be easier if you came out?" Frank's tone softened. He didn't want to be mad. He didn't like to fight with Gerard, but how wrong he was to think that Gerard was going to agree. Of course not.
"It's very easy to say it, right?"
Frank stared at him incredulously. "What?" He asked "Did you just- what!? I could even laugh. What do you think, Gerard? That I didn't to come out to my parents? To my friends? To even your parents? Do you think I was born with the word 'GAY' written on my forehead or what?"
"But you had luck because your parents are understanding! You don't know how could my parents react!" Gerard almost screamed.
"Have you seen your mom!? Have you seen how she treats me? She LOVES me, Gerard! Do you think she cares I'm gay? And your dad? The fucking same! For god's sake aren't you in Earth when they talk to me!?"
"You're not their son! They aren't going to be rude, you know? They could be acting for all we know!"
Frank snorted "That's the worst excuse ever, Gerard! Homophobes don't care! They'd look at me in disgust if they didn't approve it! Do they?" Gerard stayed silent. Again. "Fucking tell me Gerard, do they!?"
Gerard knew again Frank was right. Of course he was. Frank was always right in that kind of situations. But still, he didn't answer. Frank nodded slowly as tears rolled down his face.
"I don't understand you, then" His voce came broken, shakily. "Are you-" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Are you ashamed of me?" He opened them and more tears fell. Gerard froze in his spot and his eyes widened.
"What the h-"
"Just answer me, Gerard!" Frank pleaded "Give me a fucking answer"
"Frank, but what are you-" Gerard tried to say, to explain, but Frank cut him off again.
"If you can't give me an answer I think I know which is the real one" He nodded slowly and his hand behind his back searched the doorknob.
Gerard, still not giving up tried to speak. "But, could you let me-"
"I- I can't do this anymore" Frank shook his head slowly as he opened the door, turned and left. Gerard wasted no time on going after him, trying to catch him but damn if Frank wasn't fast when he wanted. He passed quickly the kitchen, where Gerard's parents and Mikey were still sitting and walked out of the house, but without slamming the door. He really wanted to but, first, it wasn't his house, and second, Gerard's parents were there.
Gerard had called him all the way downstairs until he walked out of the door but Frank didn't turn around, he just walked away. Gerard wanted to go after him, all the way down the street and to his house, stand there days if he needed it and wait until Frank talked to him, but his mom appeared and touched him slightly on the arm.
"Let him go, sweetie" She said in a soft voice. Gerard didn't even care he was crying in front of his mom because Frank broke up with him. When, supposedly, she didn't know. "Come here, your father and I want to talk with you"
Frank practically ran away all the way home, without being able to ignore the pain on his chest. How could he? He had been in love with Gerard for years, and when they finally had told each other about their feelings, Frank found out too that Gerard was still in the closet.
At first he didn't really mind, because he was with Gerard. He was in love, and it really didn't mind because Gerard was still with him. They kissed, they fell asleep together when their parents weren't in home, they cuddled, they hugged. They everything.
But then it came. Of course, it had to come. When they were with friends, Gerard mostly ignored Frank since only Mikey knew. When they were in public, Gerard didn't hold Frank's hand because 'what if someone knows us?' he said. When they were in front of Gerard parents, Frank was just a friend.
Frank tried to tell himself it wasn't a big deal, when it was. Was he asking for that much? He just wanted to be with his boyfriend. He wanted them to act like the boyfriends they were.
Gerard's fear was so stupid it was almost funny. Frank wasn't bullied at school. Who cared if he was gay? It wasn't like he was raping every guy he saw, and all his friends knew he was. Everyone was cool with it, so why was Gerard afraid? Frank showed him. He was never ashamed of who he was. But aparently, Gerard was. Or of him.
And that was the problem.
Frank stares at the wall of his room and does absolutely nothing but drown in his own misery, just like the past days. His hair was messy because of all the tossing and turning when he tried to sleep, his eyes are puffy and red from crying, and he is wearing Gerard's sweatshirt.
He is mad at Gerard, he truly is. But that's not enough to stop him from crying everyday wishing he is there with him stroking his hair or from wearing his clothes. They smell like him. Frank loves Gerard's scent. Frank loves Gerard.
Out of nowhere, he hears the sound of a guitar. What the hell? Is there some person playing guitar outside? Frank shrugges it off and snuggles more in Gerard's sweatshirt. The melody he's hearing is beautiful, he likes it. He kind of wonders who is playing it.
"Merrily we fall out of line, out of line
I'd fall anywhere with you
I'm by your side"
Frank's head perks up. That song isn't coming from outside. It's coming from downstairs. In his own house. And he recognises that voice. He'd recognise it everywhere.
"Swinging in the rain,
We're not going anywhere until we freeze."
He listens carefully to the lyrics he's hearing and slowly sits up on his bed, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Now there's a brief moment where it's just guitar. Not voice.
Frank gets up and sniffles, walking slowly towards his door and opening it, trying to not to make any sound. Just as he opens it fully, the voice comes again.
"I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid.
Forever is a long time,
but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side."
Frank's eyes fill up with tears as he continues to listen to the lyrics. He walks towards the stairs and stops at the top of them, just wanting to hear more before he actually sees it. He leans his head on the wall and closes his eyes, letting the tears fall from his eyes.
"Carefully we'll place for our destiny,
you came and you took this heart
and set it free.
Every word you write and sing is so warm to me,
so warm to me.
I'm torn, I'm torn
to be right where you are."
Slowly, he drags himself to the bottom of the stairs, carefully to do it without any sound. He wants to hear everything clearly, with no interruption.
"I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not afraid.
Forever is a long time,
but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side.
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile.
I wouldn't mind it at all,
I wouldn't mind it at all."
Frank swallows a sob as his feet take him to the livingroom. He takes a deep breath before placing a hand on the wall and taking the last step, appearing on the doorframe.
And there he is, sitting on the armrest of his white couch, black guitar on his lap, and his eyes light up as he sees Frank appearing in sight.
Frank is amazed, shocked, surprised, everything you want, and confused. Confused because, how did Gerard get in there? His mom isn't home.
He puts all that thoughts on the back of his head. Right now he has more important things to think about. Or hear.
"You so know me.
Pinch me gently.
I can hardly breath."
The situation is kind of awkward. Frank is just there, standing in his pj's pants and Gerard's sweatshirt, puffy red eyes and surely his face looks like a zombie's. And then there's Gerard, looking stunning with his short black hair, short-sleeved black t-shirt, black skinnies and- was that a necklace?
He looks up at his eyes as Gerard keeps singing, his velvet voice making the sound of the guitar and lyrics even more beautiful.
"Forever is a long, long time.
But I wouldn't mind spending it by your side.
Tell me everyday I get to wake up to that smile.
I wouldn't mind it at all. I wouldn't mind it at all."
He stops playing and before Frank can think twice of it, he almost runs towards Gerard, arms stretched out and a pout on his lips as if he's going to start sobbing in every moment. Which he is. He collapses against Gerard's chest just as Gerard stands up and sets down the guitar. He hugs Frank just as tightly, rocking them both slightly as Frank sobs. Gerard leans down and restes his cheek against Frank's.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I've told my parents, my grandma, our friends. I've- I've told everyone I could and- I've spent these days learning this for you because I wanted something special. Because you're special, you're the best thing that's ever been mine and- and I thought a song could make it better" He says in a low voice.
Frank sniffles and pulls away a little, looking up at Gerard. "And do you think you can fix everything with just a song?" He says and tries to use his most serious tone.
"Well.." Gerard says and reaches behind of him, taking out a pink rose and handing it to Frank. "How about a song and a rose?" He asks hopeful. Frank can't help the stupid grin that breaks on his face because, Gerard came out. Gerard sang a song for him. Gerard handed him a rose.
"You're-" He tries to say but only manages to let out a giggle "How did you get in here?"
"I kind of called your mom and- well, told her everything" Gerard says and scratches the back of his neck. Frank raises both of his eyebrows at him because- Gerard called his mom? Oh. He nods slightly and his eyes meet the necklace again. Now that he's closer to it, he sees what is it.
It's a F.
He sets the rose on the couch, then moves his other hand from Gerard's side to his chest, and touches the necklace carefully, almost as if it is going to break from touching it.
"You didn't have this.. y'know, before.. that" Frank murmurs, eyes fixed on the necklace.
"I.. um. Yes-no. I mean, I didn't have it before.. I bought it yesterday" He explains "I bought this too.." He says and takes out another necklace from his left pocket and holds it in front of Frank. "It's just as mine, but, um, this has a G.. I kinda wanted to give it to you if you forgave me" Frank looks from the necklace to Gerard's eyes and smiles. He turns around and bounces a bit on his toes.
Gerard takes the hint and puts the necklace around his lover's neck, and then he fastens it. "Done" He smiles and turns Frank in his arms. He rests his forehead against Frank's and Frank places his hands on Gerard's chest.
"I love you" Gerard murmurs.
"I love you too" Frank murmurs back. "Forever"
"Forever is a long time"
Frank fights the urge to smile and says "And I wouldn't mind spending it by your side"
Gerard grins and hugs his waist tighter. "No?"
Frank grins back and shakes his head, pecking Gerard's lips and resting his cheek against Gerard's chest. "At all".